


Recovery

by ImOutOfMyVulcanMind (LoopyLu94)



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Minor Injuries, Minor Violence, Nightmares, Swearing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-08
Packaged: 2018-10-13 08:53:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10510440
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoopyLu94/pseuds/ImOutOfMyVulcanMind
Summary: In the aftermath of Khan's attack, Leonard decides that Jim needs a little time away from it all.





	1. Part 1

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first ever McKirk, please be gentle. Any advice is appreciated!

Not many people knew there was a difference between James T. Kirk and Jim Kirk.

James T. Kirk, Captain of the U.S.S Enterprise, was fine. Sure, he’d lost friends, people he cared about, had died and been brought back, but he was fine. He wore his bright smile, the one that put anyone who visited him in hospital at ease immediately. He brushed his injuries off with a laugh and a joke, instead asking how his visitors were doing, how his crew were doing, how the whole of San Francisco was doing, because he was fine.

Jim Kirk, the young man feeling so far out of his depth he thought he might drown, was not fine. He hurt, he grieved, and sometimes he wanted to curl into a ball and not straighten out again. His shoulders were heavy with the burden that he’d lost the man who’d been like a father to him, had nearly led his entire crew to certain death, that he had nearly lost everything and everyone he loved. The thought that he’d actually died, yet was somehow living again when others weren’t, made his head spin and his stomach churn, and more than once made him vomit. Jim Kirk was definitely not fine.

Not many people knew there was a difference between James T. Kirk and Jim Kirk. But Leonard McCoy did.

Leonard McCoy was there as he watched James T. Kirk smile and joke, and deal with everything his Captaincy expected from him. He was also there when Jim Kirk curled up and sobbed until there were no more tears left.

He rubbed Jim’s back, and held a bowl for him when he threw up the food he’d swallowed only minutes before. Most of the time Leonard wasn’t even sure Jim was aware of his presence. During those periods he went so far into himself, Leonard was worried he might not come back out.

Yet somehow he always did. After long nights of trembling, tears, and nightmares, James T. Kirk always emerged in the morning, ready to fight another day. It amazed Leonard, he wouldn’t be able to do it, but he could also see that with each new morning Jim found it that little bit more difficult to become James.

So when Jim was physically able to leave hospital, and the last of his meetings and paperwork were completed, Leonard decided that Jim needed time to be Jim and no one else. Jim didn’t even argue as Leonard bundled him into a shuttle with a couple of suitcases. And he didn’t even question where they were going during the long trip. Jim’s lack of curiosity only reaffirmed how much he needed this to Leonard.

When they finally arrived, Leonard had a rented hovercar waiting for them. He got Jim in, shoved the suitcases in the trunk, and drove off. It was only then that Jim finally asked where they were. Leonard told him that they were going to the lake house his mother owned for a little R&R. Jim perked up a little at that, a small, tired smile finding its way to his lips. “Just us?”

Leonard nodded. “Just us, kid.” He replied, glancing over at the younger man to see him relax a fraction. “The house is in the middle of nowhere. No one’s going to disturb us, and we can stay for as long as we like.”

Jim slumped in his seat a little, and closed his eyes. “Thanks, Bones.”

Leonard smiled. “You’re welcome, kid. We’re still a way out, so take a nap, and I’ll wake you when we arrive.” From the corner of Leonard’s eye he saw Jim nod his head, and it didn’t surprise him when minutes later Jim’s breathing slowed. He risked another quick glance over at his friend, and sighed to himself. Even in such a light sleep, Jim looked so much younger than his twenty-six years, just like when he was awake he looked so much older than it.

Jim slept through the rest of the journey, and Leonard was glad of it. He needed as much uninterrupted sleep as possible. Leonard brought the car to a stop outside the lake house just as the sun started to set. It really did create the most beautiful view. The reflection of the sun bounced off the large, still, lake, as it slowly made its way behind the trees. The house itself wasn’t that large, but it was cosy and held everything they needed. Leonard hadn’t been lying when he said they were in the middle of nowhere either. It would take a miracle for someone to find this place if they didn’t know the way. It was why his parents had bought the place, and it was perfect for them now. Jim needed the solitude. 

“We here?” Jim’s voice was groggy with sleep, and Leonard turned to look at him as the blond rubbed his eyes and stretched.

“Yeah, we’re here.” Leonard watched as Jim straightened up and looked over the view around him, another smile forming.

“It’s gorgeous, Bones.” Jim already looked a little brighter, a little more relaxed. This was exactly what he needed.

“Let’s get inside, before it gets dark.” Leonard slid out of the car, and went around to Jim’s side. The other still hadn’t fully recovered physically yet, his legs still weak, something to be expected after being dead for a few weeks, then stuck in a bed for a few more. He could see that Jim still didn’t like this weakness, still saw it as a vulnerability, but offered his arm to Leonard without argument. Leonard took it, wrapping the limb around his shoulders, and helped Jim to his feet.

The blond had come further than Leonard had expected in such a short amount of time, only needing a minimal amount of support from Leonard as they walked to the front door. If he had been well rested enough, he probably wouldn’t have needed any support at all. Leonard let them in, ordering the lights to a comfortable level. “You sit here, and I’ll get our suitcases in.” He said, setting Jim onto the old, yet extremely comfy couch. Jim groaned at the softness of it.

Leonard was quick in fetching their cases, and took them up to the bedrooms. Jim’s in one, and his own in the room next to it. Far away enough to give the young man privacy, but close enough that he could be in the room in a heartbeat if he was needed. When he returned to main room, he found Jim sprawled on the couch. “Glad to see you’re making yourself at home.” He huffed, choosing not to let on just how happy he was that Jim returned his comment with the grin that almost reminded him of the old Jim. The happy Jim. “Hungry?”

“Yeah, actually.” Jim answered, stretching out just a little more on the worn couch. Leonard rolled his eyes, and went into the kitchen. As he’d arranged, there were a few items to last them a couple of days. He’d drive to the closest store tomorrow, get enough in to last them a while, but there was plenty for tonight. It didn’t take Leonard long to make them a light meal, and as he was tired from their long journey too, he decided that they could be lazy for once and eat on the couch.

He took the plates back into the main room, raising an eyebrow at Jim and nudging the others legs with one of his own to get Jim to move them. When the other complied, Leonard sat and handed Jim his food. They ate in a comfortable silence, though Leonard did keep an eye on Jim as the blond ate. He tucked in at first, but he quickly slowed down and it became apparent that he was forcing the mouthfuls. His lack of appetite was another thing that concerned Leonard. Usually Jim would have been able to clear both their plates, and probably ask for another, but now he barely managed his own, rather small, portion. Leonard hoped the fresh country air, would aid his appetite in returning. For now though, he forced himself to be content that at least Jim had eaten something.

“Think it’ll be okay if I take a shower?” Jim asked when they’d both finished eating, and Leonard nodded.

“Course. I’ve already put a change of clothes in the bathroom.” He said, rising from the couch and helping Jim up.

“You know me too well, Bones.”

“Damned right I do.” Leonard got Jim up the stairs and into the bathroom. “Think you can manage from here?” It wasn’t that Leonard was against helping Jim in the shower, in fact a secret part of him that he didn’t let himself think about would actually like it, but he knew Jim would hate it. Washing had been the only thing he’d refused to let Leonard help him with in hospital.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine, thanks, Bones.” Jim peeled away from Leonard and moved carefully to the shower. Leonard didn’t want to leave, but he wasn’t about to make his best friend awkward either.

“Alright. I won’t be far, so if you need me just give a shout.” Leonard closed the bathroom door behind him as he left, going to his bedroom to fetch his medkit before going to Jim’s room. He prepared the couple of hypos he needed, and set them to one side. Jim wasn’t on any of the serious medication anymore, but Leonard insisted he still take vitamin shots until he was back eating properly, and an antiemetic to make sure anything he did eat, stayed down.

He listened to the sound of the shower running as he worked, straining to hear any sounds that might mean Jim was in trouble. No sounds like that came though, just the steady stream of water. Jim must have been enjoying himself. Finally the sound of water stopped, and Leonard heard shuffling around. It was slow, but Leonard still felt the pride swell in his chest that Jim was managing by himself. It was probably doing Jim a world of good mentally too.  
The bathroom door opened. “Bones?” Jim’s tired voice called, and Leonard was there in an instant. “Can…can you give me a hand? Shower tired me out.” Jim was still smiling a little, obviously pleased with his own achievement. Leonard returned the smile, and guided Jim into his bedroom.

“Nice to have a decent sized bed.” Jim murmured as he sat on the large bed. “Yours must be huge.” Leonard didn’t mention that he’d given Jim the master bedroom, and so his bed was smaller. Kid needed the space more. Instead Leonard offered a noncommittal noise, and turned his attention the hypos.

He picked one up, and turned to Jim. “Ready?”

Jim grimaced, but reluctantly bared his neck for Leonard. “Same as usual, right?”

“I’ll never give you something new without telling you first, Jim. You gotta trust me on that.” Leonard replied softly, quickly administering the first hypo, and rubbing the soreness away. If Jim noticed that his fingers stayed a little longer than was necessary, he didn’t say anything.

“I do trust you, Bones. Always have.” Jim mumbled quietly, and as Leonard administered the second hypo, he could have sworn that the younger man was leaning a little into the touch. No. It must have been his imagination.

“Good.” Leonard pulled away, and tidied up his things. “Get some rest, you need it. Tomorrow I’ll show you around, and maybe we can take a dip in the lake.”

Jim nodded. “I’d like that.”

“Alright.” Leonard collected his medkit, and turned to leave, but he was stopped by Jim grabbing holding of his arm suddenly. “Jim?”

“You…you won’t be far will you?” Jim’s voice was barely audible, and he sounded more vulnerable and childlike than Leonard had ever heard. He had to fight every instinct to gather the other into his arms and stay like that.

“I’m right next door, kid. Won’t even need to raise your voice for me to hear you. Need me for anything, anything at all, give me a call and I’ll be here, okay?”

Jim nodded, looking vaguely embarrassed as he let Leonard’s arm go. “Okay. Night, Bones.”

“Goodnight, Jim.” Leonard offered his friend a smile, and closed the door behind him as he left the bedroom. He went back downstairs first, cleaning away the dishes from their earlier meal, and generally making sure everything was in order. His own tiredness was quickly creeping up on him, so once he was done, Leonard went back upstairs and into the bedroom he used to sleep in when his family spent time here when he was a child. He grabbed some sleep clothes, and went for his own quick shower.

The hot water relaxed tense muscles, and washed away the stress of the journey. He didn’t let himself linger for long though, he was nearly as in much need for sleep as Jim was. Leonard dried himself off, changing into his sleep pants and t-shirt, then headed back to his bedroom, totally not pausing briefly outside Jim’s room to make sure he was sleeping. Leonard groaned as he slid into the comfortable bed, it had been too long since he’d slept in a proper one. He’d spent the last couple months either sleeping on spare hospital beds, or in the chair next to Jim’s. 

Leonard fell to sleep almost immediately, deeply and peacefully. That didn’t stop him from waking immediately when the sound of his name being cried filtered into his brain. He was out of bed like a shot, and into Jim’s room.

The blond was huddled up on himself, and Leonard could see his shoulders shake even in the semi-darkness. Another nightmare then. “It’s okay, Jim. It’s okay.” Leonard sat on the bed next to Jim, rubbing the other's back. Jim curled into Leonard, burying his face into his shoulder. Leonard wrapped his arms around Jim, and pulled him close. “Let it out, kid.” Jim sobbed into Leonard’s shoulder, gripping his shirt tightly, while Leonard continued to rub his back.

Jim’s sobs slowly eased, and when they did, Leonard carefully pulled away. “Just going to get some water. I’ll be right back.” He promised, leaving Jim laying on the bed again as he went to get the water. He hadn’t moved by the time Leonard returned, and quietly sipped the water when Leonard coaxed. “There we go. That’s good, Jim. Real good.”

Jim sniffed, looking at Leonard with red rimmed eyes. “Stay. Please?”

“Of course.” Leonard set the glass down, and slid into the bed behind Jim, the other relaxing almost instantly. It was an odd aspect of their friendship, but it wasn’t a new one. Jim had had occasional nightmares for years, and as they’d shared a room at the Academy, Leonard had found out quickly. This was something they’d fallen into with ease, though Leonard wasn’t completely sure how it happened. He just knew that body contact helped Jim after a nightmare, and if a cuddle calmed Jim back to sleep, Leonard was perfectly happy to do it.

Of course, these once rare cuddle sessions had done nothing to ease the feelings Leonard had for Jim. They’d developed quickly at the Academy, and as much as Leonard tried to squash them down, they only ever seemed to grow, and feeling Jim’s warm body pressed against his chest had never aided matters. But dammit, he was a Doctor first, and Jim’s well-being came before his own damned feelings. So he ignored them, pushed them to the very back of his mind where they would never show, because if they did, Jim would freak out, and that would be the end of their friendship.

Leonard could stand loving Jim from a distance, could stand watching him sleep with anyone who wasn’t Leonard, could stand only showing his love through patching him up and making sure he was okay, but Leonard couldn’t stand losing his best friend. It would destroy him. It was why he couldn’t let Jim die. Why he’d worked night and day, working and reworking Khan’s blood until he could use it on Jim. Why he stayed vigilant during the days after it, waiting, praying that Jim would wake up. To lose Jim’s friendship so permanently would leave Leonard a hollow shell again, and he’d be damned if he let that happen.

Next to him, Jim had drifted back off to sleep again, a hand resting on the arm Leonard had draped across him. For all his independence, Jim was a sucker for body contact. Leonard watched his friend sleep, feeling his arm move with each steady rise and fall of his chest. It was a feeling Leonard had always appreciated, but now more than ever. He’d been so scared that he’d never be able to feel or see or hear Jim breathe again, and to have that back felt like a million miracles at once, and he swore to himself that he’d never take it for granted again.

Leonard had intended to stay awake, and keep an eye on Jim in the hope of stopping any more nightmares before they truly began, but he must have still been exhausted, because when he woke, the sun was creeping through the windows, and the space next to him was empty. Wait. Empty?

Leonard bolted to his feet. “Jim?” He called, exiting the bedroom. No answer came. He checked the bathroom, and the other bedroom, before rushing downstairs. The smell of coffee reached his nose just as he entered the kitchen, and he saw that there was pot recently brewed sitting there. Turning, Leonard sighed in relief as he looked out the door leading from the kitchen to the porch, and saw Jim sitting in one of the chairs there, watching the sunrise.

He grabbed himself a cup of coffee too, then quietly opened the door and stepped onto the porch. “Morning.”

“Morning.” Jim smiled at Leonard as he watched the other sit. He still looked tired, but Leonard was pleased to see he wasn’t holding any pretences. That he was just being Jim.

“You should’ve woken me. I could have- “

“I’m not a complete invalid, Bones.” Jim cut him off, taking a sip of coffee. “Besides, you looked like you needed the rest. I know you can’t have been sleeping much. Every time I’ve been awake, you’ve been right there with me, and it’s not fair on you, so I wanted to give you a chance for a lie in.” Jim dropped his gaze as he spoke, a look of guilt creeping onto his features.

“Kid, Jim, listen, I’m fine, so don’t worry about me.” Leonard said, hoping his voice sounded reassuring. “Just focus on yourself. That’s what this,” Leonard gestured towards the lake “is all about. Getting you well enough so we can go on that damned five year mission.”

Jim smiled softly, but it quickly faltered. “I don’t know, Bones. I know they’ve offered it to me, but I don’t know if it should be me. Five years is a long time, what if I can’t handle it? I have to keep a crew safe for five years, I don’t know if I can.”

“Don’t pull that crap with me, Jim. We both know you’re the best damned Captain the ‘Fleet has to offer. You’ve proved that. No one other than you should be heading that goddamned flying tin can, and don’t you dare say otherwise.” Leonard had always been able to read Jim like a book. He knew when Jim needed him to be gentle, and he knew when Jim needed him to be his old cantankerous self. Now was one of the latter times.

Jim smiled again, and this time it stayed. “You know how to flatter a guy.”

Leonard huffed, hiding his own smile behind his coffee mug, as he sat back in his seat and they watched the rest of the sun rise.

When they’d finished their coffee, and just before the morning chill grew too cold, Leonard decided it was time for breakfast. “C’mon, in you go.” He said, offering Jim is hand to help him up, but leaving him make his own way into the kitchen.

Leonard moved around the kitchen, as Jim sat down and got the things he needed together. "I'll go to the nearest store later to get some more supplies in, so if there's anything you particularly fancy, let me know." He spoke over his shoulder, as he prepared the eggs he was cooking. When no reply came from Jim, he looked over at the younger man who seemed to be wearing a torn expression. As soon as Jim noticed Leonard looking though, the expression disappeared.

"Can't think of anything at the moment, but I'll let you know if I change my mind."

Leonard frowned, feeling like he was missing something, but didn't push it. Instead, he nodded and resumed cooking the eggs. He could feel Jim's eyes on him still, but ignored it. Leonard served up the eggs, and poured them both a helping of orange juice, before setting it all down on the table.

He sat opposite Jim, and noticed with satisfaction that the younger man seemed to eat all his meal easily. Maybe his plan was working already.

When they’d finished eating, Leonard rose to clear away the dishes, batting Jim's hand away when he offered to help. Jim rolled his eyes, standing anyway. “If you're going to turn all domestic goddess on me, I'm going to get dressed.” He must have felt Leonard's scowl before Leonard actually turned to face him again, because he laughed. “I can manage, Bones. And if I can't, I'll call you, okay?”

“You'd better.” Leonard grumbled, watching Jim slowly make his way from the kitchen, and up the stairs. It wasn't until he heard Jim enter the bedroom again, did he allow himself to relax and resume his dish washing.

Leonard finished, and decided it was probably time he got dressed too. He paused as he reached the top of the stairs though, suddenly realizing that Jim had gone completely quiet. “Jim?” Leonard knocked quietly on the bedroom door, but when no answer came, he opened the door and stuck his head in.

Jim was standing in front of the mirror, clad in nothing but his sleeping pants, staring at his own reflection. “I don't look like me.” He whispered. “I'm so thin, and pale. It's like looking at a stranger.”

“It’ll come back, kid, just need to give it time.” Leonard replied, slowly entering the bedroom and moving over to Jim. “You'll get back to how you were before, I promise. I won't stop until you are.”

Jim looked up, meeting Leonard's eyes in the reflection. There was a deep pain in those blue eyes that weren't as bright as they used to be, and Leonard squeezed Jim's shoulder. “I promise, Jim.”

Jim nodded with a sigh, letting his shoulders slump. Leonard noticed that Jim was shaking slightly, and looked down to see that it was his legs that were trembling. “C’mon, sit down on the bed. You've done too much for one morning.”

Jim laughed harshly as he allowed himself to be manoeuvred back to the bed. “Two sets of stairs, and a trip into the kitchen to make coffee and I've done too much.” Leonard hated the bitterness in Jim's voice, but he understood it. He could say that Jim should be proud, that when he woke up no one knew how long it would take for him to be able to do anything on his own. Jim knew all that though, and repeating it wouldn't help him at the moment, so Leonard didn't reply.

He pulled some clothes out of Jim’s suitcase and tossed them to him. “Once I’ve dressed, I’m going to the store, you can come with me if you want, but I’d rather you stay and relax here. It’s gonna be a nice day, so maybe go sit outside. Then when I get back, we can go for a swim. It always gets hot out there in the afternoon, so it’ll be the perfect time.”

Jim nodded silently, pulling on his shirt. “Alright. I won’t be long then we can head down together.” Leonard said, squeezing Jim’s shoulder again as he passed the younger man, and went into his own room. He quickly pulled on a loose pair of jeans, and a red checked shirt, pushing the sleeves up to his elbows. After tugging his boots on too, Leonard left his room, and met Jim just as he exiting.

Jim raised an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything. It looked like he’d pulled out of his funk though, which was something. They walked downstairs together, Leonard offering the smallest amount of support that he could. “I was thinking about what you said earlier, about stuff to get at the store.”

“Hmm?”

“I...it’s kinda childish, but it’s something I haven’t actually had since I was a kid, don’t even know if you can get it here.”

“Jim, you’re rambling.” 

“Right, yeah. Rhubarb pie.”

Leonard nodded, happy that Jim was desiring something. “I’ll see what I can do.”

Jim smiled. “Thanks, Bones.”

“Anytime, kid.” Leonard let Jim go once they reached the bottom of the stairs. “There’s still some stuff in the kitchen if you want anything. Help yourself. The store is quite a drive away, so I’ll probably be a bit. If you get too bored outside, there are some old holovids in here. I have my comm on me, call me if you want anything else.”

“Bones, relax. You sound like a mother leaving a kid on their own for the first time. I’m sure I can keep myself entertained for a couple hours.” Jim chuckled, and damn that sounded good.

“Alright, alright, point taken. Just take it easy, or I’ll sedate your ass into next to week.” Leonard grabbed the things he needed, watching as Jim got himself another glass of orange juice.

“When have I ever gone against my Doctor’s orders?” Jim grinned, heading to the door to the porch again.

“Bloody infant.” Leonard grumbled, shaking his head. “I’ll see you soon.” 

“Bye, Bones!” Jim called over his shoulder. 

Leonard huffed to himself, then turned and and went to his hovercar. Despite Jim’s reassurances, Leonard still wasn’t completely happy leaving him by himself, but he knew had to. If he mother henned as much as he wanted, it would drive Jim up the wall. Jim needed his independence, and Leonard needed to give it to him if he wanted Jim back to full strength.

It was a long journey to the nearest store, but the roads were quiet so Leonard made good time. He made sure to get a variety things, both healthy, and more reluctantly, unhealthy items. He was willing to let Jim have some junk food if it encouraged his appetite back. Leonard got enough to last them a week. He also bought a bottle of bourbon, and a small pack of beer, just enough to create a sense normality.

When Leonard returned, he’d half been expecting to find Jim trying to do something ridiculously strenuous that he shouldn’t be doing, but to his surprise, and delight, instead he found Jim sleeping on a chair, shirtless, and basking in the sun. Leonard smiled, letting him sleep for a bit longer as he went about and put everything away. 

“You get pie?” Jim’s sleepy voice came from the door just as Leonard finished.

“They didn’t have any.” Leonard started, quickly holding up a hand when Jim’s face fell. “But, thanks to a quick search, I managed to get all the ingredients to make our own, including fresh rhubarb.” Leonard hadn’t known what reaction to expect from Jim, but he definitely hadn’t been expecting to be pulled into a bear hug, Jim’s arms wrapped tightly around him.

“That’s even better, Bones! It tastes even better when you bake it yourself.” 

Leonard laughed, hugging Jim in return and forcibly making himself ignore how good Jim’s bare skin felt under his hands. “I hope you know what you’re doing with it. I can cook, but I’m hopeless at baking.”

Jim grinned, pulling back. “I can make it by heart.”

“Least one of us can. Why don’t we make it now, so it’ll be ready to have tonight?” Leonard wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Jim so excited over something so simple, but the joyful glee on Jim’s face as he immediately began rummaging for all the things they needed was enough to make him smile in return. What he wouldn’t give to see him like that all the time.

Jim ordered Leonard around the kitchen, Leonard occasionally teasing him with a ‘yes, Captain’ and a roll of his eyes. Jim hadn’t been lying when he said he knew how to make the pie, it came as easy to him as anything else he did. Between them, they made short work of preparing the pie, and once it was in cooking, Leonard made them lunch.

Jim struggled a little, but managed to eat the salad. “Pie’s done.” He announced, a few minutes after they’d finished. Leonard raised an eyebrow. 

“You haven’t checked it.” Leonard was rewarded with Jim rolling his eyes, and the younger man standing to pull out the perfectly cooked pie. 

“It smelled ready.” Jim grinned, setting it down to cool.

Leonard huffed. “Unbelievable.”

“I’m a man of many talents, Bones.” Jim winked. “How about taking that swim now?” 

Leonard laughed. “If you feel up to it. I’ll go get our trunks.”

“Aww, Bones, no skinny dipping?”

“If you think I’m getting naked with you, kid, you’ve got another thing coming.” Leonard muttered, hoping his scowl was enough to hide how much he wanted to go skinny dipping with Jim. He turned abruptly, and went upstairs to grab the swimming trunks he’d packed for both of them, and a couple towels. He changed into his then, pulling his jeans back over them, but leaving his shirt off. The weather was really warming up now, so there was no need of it.

Jim was already waiting for Leonard at the edge of the lake, down to his underwear. Leonard passed Jim the clothing, turning his back as Jim changed. The sun was beating down on them, and Leonard relished the feel of the warmth on his skin. It had been too long since he’d been out in the sun too. He shucked his own jeans, throwing them to one side, and didn’t waste any time before stepping into the cool water. There was some wood decking jutting out at the side of the lake that they could have dived from, but that would be too much for Jim at the moment. “Coming?” Leonard turned back to Jim as he stepped further out into the water, until his feet could no longer touch the ground beneath him.

Jim stepped into the water too, and Leonard watched as it slowly submerged Jim’s body. The other stopped when it came to his armpits though, suddenly looking nervous. “I don’t know if I can. What if I’m not strong enough to swim?”

“I wouldn’t have suggested it if I didn’t know you were strong enough. Swimming will help strengthen you even further too.” Leonard coaxed. “And if you do struggle, I’m right here. I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Those seemed to be the right words to say, because Jim nodded and took the final push off the ground so he was floating in the water in front of Leonard. “This isn’t too bad.”

“Told you.” Leonard smiled, taking them a little deeper out.

“You like swimming, don’t you?” Jim asked, letting himself lay back and float on the water.

“Yeah. My Pa taught me to swim in this lake when I was a boy.” Leonard replied, joining Jim. It wasn’t really what he’d planned, originally intending on trying to get Jim to actually swim, but this was good enough for now. They had plenty of time.

“Thank you for bringing me out here, Bones.”

“You thanked me yesterday, kid.”

“I know, but I felt like I should say it again. You didn’t have to, and I appreciate it. It’s what I needed.” Jim said quietly, closing his eyes. “You always seem to know what I need, before I know it myself.”

Leonard swallowed. “I’m a Doctor, it’s my job to know what people need.” What else could he say? That he always knew what Jim needed because he’d spent the last few years of his life dedicated to learning. No. Jim hummed in response, and Leonard was sure he’d heard a twinge of disappointment in the tone, but when he raised his head, Jim only looked completely relaxed and blissed out.

They lay silently side by side, enjoying the cool water on their backs, and the warm sun on their fronts. Leonard started to think that this was what they both needed. Eventually Jim broke their peaceful silence. “I’m going to try a couple of strokes, just to see if I can.”

Leonard nodded, straightening up. “I’ll join you.” 

Jim did well, again better than Leonard had expected for a first swim, but what didn’t shock him was that Jim tired quickly. “I think that’s enough for one day. Let’s head in.” Jim didn’t argue, reaching the shore first and throwing Leonard one of the towels and using the other one to dry off. Leonard mirrored the action, oblivious to Jim’s eyes watching him. “Anything you want for dinner?”

“I did see some steaks in the fridge.” Jim sounded hopeful.

“Steak it is then.” Leonard laughed. “I’ll start on it once I’ve changed. I’ll give you a hand upstairs.”

“Bones, I can manage.”

“I know you probably can, but you’ve done a lot this afternoon, even if it doesn’t feel that way yet, and I don’t want you crashing out on me. Not before we’ve had a chance to try that pie of yours anyway.” Leonard’s tone was enough to quell any further argument, and Jim allowed himself to be helped. 

Jim went to shower, and once he was done Leonard took one himself then changed back into his old jeans, this time putting his shirt on again too. He left Jim watching a holovid while he prepared the steak, and they shared a bottle of beer while it was marinating. 

The steak was good, the rhubarb pie even better, and Leonard was happy to see Jim eagerly eat it all. His portions may have still been smaller than Leonard would have liked, but he knew when to take small victories, and Jim had still eaten more than he had been, so Leonard was content for now. As he’d predicted though, once he’d eaten, the physical exertion caught up with Jim. “Time for bed, I think.” Leonard said, giving Jim a hand up. 

The other leaned on him as they made their final trip upstairs for the day, but Leonard had him tightly. “Today’s been good, Bones. Best day in ages.” He murmured sleepily.

The days weren’t always going to be as good as today, he knew that, but today was a start.“Yeah. Yeah, it has. And we have plenty more to come, because nothing short of an intergalactic war is going to let me leave you go until I say so.” Leonard replied, taking Jim into the bedroom. He was glad Jim had chosen to change into his sleep pants after his shower. It saved them the awkwardness of Leonard having to redress him. He set Jim on the bed, and pulled out the medkit he’d stowed in the room for easy access. “Just the antiemetic tonight. I’m happy with what you’ve eaten.”

Jim nodded his understanding, leaving Leonard administer the hypo. “Bones? I...I know you’ve done a lot for me today already, but...do you think...could you...nevermind. It’s stupid.”

“What is it, Jim? Tell me.”

“Could...could you stay? With me. In bed.” Jim blushed darkly, refusing to look at Leonard. “The nightmares aren’t so bad with you around.”

Leonard smiled. “Of course, Jim. Just give me a minute to change, and I’ll be here, okay?” Jim nodded, and Leonard stood. He didn’t waste time in changing out of his jeans, and didn’t stop to think about Jim’s request. It made perfect sense. The nightmares eased with someone near, and Leonard was the only person around.

Jim was lying down when Leonard returned, and smiled up at him. “Thanks, Bones.” Leonard gave a smile of his own in response, and lay behind Jim again, mirroring how they’d been the night before. Jim sighed happily, relaxing back against Leonard.

Again, Leonard had intended to stay awake, at least until Jim had fallen to sleep, but the relatively stress free day, mixed with swimming and good food had obviously tired him out more than he’d thought, and he ended up drifting off before Jim. 

Leonard didn’t feel Jim roll over and press a gentle kiss to his lips before falling to sleep himself, and if some part of his brain did pick up on it, it convinced him it was nothing more than a very, very good dream.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of Khan's attack, Leonard decides that Jim needs a little time away from it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was meant to be the second and final part of this story, but when I read through it, I felt like it was too rushed, so I’ll be writing more in order to delve deeper into Jim’s recovery.

Leonard had been right about other days not being as good as their first. The very next day Jim felt the repercussions of pushing himself physically, his whole body, especially his legs, ached and cramped. He fell into a sour mood that Leonard didn’t really blame him for, and wanted to spend the day in bed, but that was where Leonard drew the line. The whole idea of this trip was for Jim to freely express his moods, both good and bad, but Leonard refused to let him sulk in the darkness by himself.

After some convincing, Leonard finally managed to get Jim downstairs, and out into the sun. They spent most of the day in silence, Leonard reading on a PADD, and Jim staring out across the lake mainly. Leonard considered trying to coax Jim to open up, but ultimately decided against it. He knew Jim would talk to him if he wanted to, and despite the frown on his face, Leonard got the feeling that Jim was enjoying not having to explain himself or his thoughts, so Leonard left him to it.

That night, after Leonard had given Jim his medication, Jim asked him to stay again. His nightmares had been less the night before, never actually waking but tossing and turning instead, so Leonard agreed. When Leonard was in bed with him, arm wrapped around his waist again, Jim apologized in such a quiet voice that Leonard nearly missed it. Leonard told him that he never needed to be sorry. Not for being in a bad mood, or for needing some time to think through his own emotions. Not when he was with Leonard. Jim visibly relaxed at that, leaning a little more against Leonard than usual.

Jim’s breathing slowed, and the steady rise and fall of his chest lulled Leonard into drowsiness too. He was nearly asleep when Jim spoke again, his voice still quiet, and thick with sleep. “Love you.”

Leonard didn’t sleep that night.

Jim’s state was unpredictable as the days passed; sometimes having a few good days, sometimes having a few bad ones. Leonard was right with him through it all. He’d pushed Jim’s words from their third night to the back of his mind, and made himself not think about them. The next day Jim had shown no knowledge of saying anything before falling to sleep, and Leonard wasn’t going to bring it up. Jim had been mostly asleep, he could have been talking to anyone.

Jim had had a string of good days when the weather changed. He was getting stronger, able to do more without Leonard’s help, and they’d even managed to take a short walk into the trees surrounding the house to explore a little. Jim had noticed his improvement too, and even when he ached a little afterwards, the positive effect on his mental state was obvious.

But then the sun disappeared, and the rain came in, leaving the two of them stuck in the house. It wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Jim talked Leonard into making another run to the store, and gave him a list of things to buy. When Leonard returned they spent the rest of the day with Jim trying to teach Leonard how to bake. They ended up covered in flour, taking part in more food fights than actual baking, but they did manage to bake a cake, and hearing Jim laugh so damned happily was more than worth the mess.

As night fell, the rain continued to hammer down, bringing down the temperature too. So while Jim was upstairs cleaning up, Leonard went to the fireplace in the main room. It had a holographic version that gave out real heat, but Leonard figured that if they were going to spend the night watching holovids, and stuffing their face with cake, he might as well make a real fire. Leonard sent silent thanks to the person who decided to build indoor storage for firewood in the house, because as he listened to the rain batter the windows, Leonard really didn’t want to make any sort of trip out into it.

He collected the firewood he needed from the small room, and set about lighting the logs with a practiced ease, then set the cast iron fender in front of it. “Pulling out all the stops, huh?” Jim asked as he reappeared at the bottom of the stairs, dressed in nothing but gray sweats and a loose t-shirt, his hair still damp and clinging to his forehead. Leonard resisted the temptation to brush it away.

“Might as well use it if it’s here.” Leonard shrugged as he stood. “Pick something to watch, and I’ll go grab a shower too.” Jim nodded in reply, passing Leonard on his way to look at the collection of holovids.

Leonard didn’t waste time in showering, and pulled on some loose clothing himself, before heading back downstairs. He paused for a moment, just out of Jim’s line of sight, and watched as the blond moved around the room. He’d set some snacks, along with their cake onto the coffee table, and was just placing a bottle of beer each down too. Jim was moving with more confidence now, almost back to his old stride, and Leonard smiled to himself. He’d told Jim he was proud of his progress, but he hadn’t said quite how proud he was. His pride and admiration of the other man went beyond that of a Doctor or a best friend, and was something Leonard would keep to himself.

He entered the room just as Jim had finished, and joined him as he flopped onto the couch. “Got the vid in and ready to play.” Jim said, stretching out luxuriously on the worn material. With a flick of the remote, Jim set the movie to play, and Leonard settled back to watch it.

They watched a couple movies together, but after the second, they ended up doing more talking than watching, so switched it off. Jim moved onto the rug in front of the fire, so he could bask in the warmth, but Leonard remained on the couch. They laughed for a while, but then something about Jim changed, and Leonard, picking up on it straight away, moved to sit next to him on the floor.

“Everything okay, kid?” He asked, nudging Jim’s shoulder with his own lightly.

“Yeah, fine.” Jim replied in the most unconvincing tone, the laughter dying from his lips as he stared into the flames.

Jim was going through some internal battle, Leonard could see, and though he didn’t know where this sudden seriousness came from, he let Jim battle it out. They sat side by side in silence, both watching the flames dance and listening to the crackle of wood. Leonard sipped his beer, patiently waiting for Jim to work out whatever it was he wanted to say. Leonard would be lying if he said he wasn’t growing increasingly nervous as time stretched on, and worry began to creep into his mind. Perhaps Jim had noticed the way Leonard looked at him sometimes, or had picked up on the way his fingers occasionally stayed a split second too long on his skin, and he wanted to bring it up. Maybe he was trying to find the right words in order to let Leonard down as gently as possible. They’d been friends for years, and despite not reciprocating his feelings, Leonard didn’t think Jim would be harsh in his rejection. It might be the end of their friendship, but Jim wasn’t a cruel man. He wouldn’t laugh in Leonard’s face. A part of him wished he would. It would be better than a sympathetic smile, and forced kind words.

Leonard took a long swig of his beer, stopping himself from drumming his fingers on the bottle nervously. He’d send a message to Spock later, he thought. Ask him to come out here, and take over helping Jim. The younger man was strong enough that he didn’t need Leonard now. His appetite was quickly returning, and he’d been a few days without needing an antiemetic, Spock would be able to manage. Anyway, it would only hinder Jim’s recovery if Leonard stayed around. It would be too awkward. And going would give Leonard enough time to draw up his transfer papers, and be reassigned long before Jim was ready to return to the Enterprise. Maybe he could be assigned as CMO to a Starbase in some backwater region of space. Run away, and let Jim carry on with the rest of his bright future. Perhaps fool people into thinking that he hadn’t destroyed their friendship like every other relationship he formed, and that he just wanted a job on good solid ground.

His plan made, Leonard let the deafening silence go on, waiting for the inevitable. He was so on edge, that when Jim spoke, he nearly spilled his beer all over himself. “Why?”

Leonard frowned, his mind racing at the strange question. Was Jim asking why he’d ruined their friendship? Or something else? “What do you mean?” He asked, keeping his gaze focused on a spot on the floor, just left of the fire. Anything to not look at Jim.

“Why are you doing all this?”

Now Leonard was thrown, and he snapped his eyes up to see that Jim was also focusing on a random spot of the floor. Perhaps he’d been wrong, and Jim didn’t know. He kept his voice steady, and answered. “Because I’m your Doctor.”

Jim shook his head. “This is above and beyond what any Doctor would do for his patient.”

“I’m also your friend, Jim. I’d do anything to help you.”

“My Doctor and friend. And that’s it? There’s no other reason why?” Jim’s voice had gone quiet again.

“Yeah. That’s it.”

“Oh. Okay.” There was definitely disappointment in Jim’s tone now, and Leonard hated the hope that immediately sprang up inside him.

“Did you want there to be another reason?” Leonard asked, knowing full well he was playing with fire now, and the chances of getting burned were strong still, but there was also a chance that that fire could wrap around him safely, and he’d be the warmest and most content he’d ever been, and Leonard couldn’t afford to risk it sizzling out on him now.

“Maybe. Dunno.” Jim mumbled, his gaze still fixed on the same spot. “I thought maybe there was. Been a couple times I thought you hugged a little tighter, or a little closer. Thought I saw you watching me with this look…” Jim trailed off, swallowing thickly. “Must’ve read the signs wrong. It doesn’t matter.”

Leonard inhaled sharply. Everything he wanted was in touching distance. He was almost sure he knew what Jim was getting at, but last of the uncertainty that he was imagining things clung to him still, and despite his desire to pull Jim in for a kiss, he made himself wait until he heard the words from Jim in full confirmation. However his sharp inhale seemed to drive the wrong message across to Jim.

“I’m sorry, Bones. Forget I mentioned anything. Please don’t let this spoil anything, please.” Jim’s head dropped, his eyes closing.

Leonard hesitated a moment, then placed his hand on Jim’s shoulder. “Nothing to be sorry for, Jim. But I need to know what you’re trying to say.” He said softly. “Whatever it is, tell me. I promise it’ll be okay.”

“You can’t promise about this, Bones. You don’t know...and I don’t want you to hate me...and I can’t lose you. I can’t.”

“Jim. Trust me.”

Jim took a deep breath. “I love you, Bones, okay? I love you!”

Leonard closed his own eyes, squeezing Jim’s shoulder probably a little too tightly as he let the words sink in. “I love you to, Jim.” He whispered, sounding far more emotional that he wanted to be.

Jim’s head snapped up, and Leonard opened his eyes again when he felt the others on him. What he found stole his breath. Jim’s beautiful blue eyes were wide, and filled with fear, uncertainty, hope. Everything Leonard was feeling. “Not just as a friend. I’m in love with you.”

“I know, Jim.” Leonard released Jim’s shoulder, and moved the hand to cup his cheek. “I’m in love with you too. Have been for years.”

Leonard’s admission sparked a reaction in Jim, and before he knew it, he had a lap full of Jim. On instinct, his beer was abandoned, and he wrapped his arms firmly around the other man, pulling him close.

Jim clutched at Leonard’s t-shirt in return, hiding his face in his neck. “You mean it, Bones? You aren’t joking?”

“I mean it, Jim. Never been more serious about anything in my life.” Leonard answered, playing with the hairs at the nape of Jim’s neck. It felt right having Jim in his lap, legs straddling his thighs, and their chests pressed together.

“Why didn’t you say anything? You’ve never been shy about letting your feelings known.”

“Could say the same about you, kid. You’ve always made your affections clear.” Leonard chuckled, rubbing Jim’s back absentmindedly. “That’s why I never said anything. Thought you weren’t interested, and our friendship meant more to me than my feelings.”

Jim huffed a laugh. “And that’s why I never mentioned it too. I know I’m usually forward, but I’ve never felt like this about anyone before, and...and it scared me. I didn’t think I’d be able to cope if you turned me down.”

Leonard smiled. “I think we’ve both been a pair of idiots, so caught up in our own heads that we haven’t been able to see what’s under our nose.”

Jim pulled back a little, just enough to be able to look at Leonard properly. “Guess we have. But not anymore. Not letting you go now.” He whispered, pausing for a few heartbeats before leaning in and pressing his lips to Leonard’s.

Leonard had imagined his first kiss with Jim plenty of times during the long lonely nights, but never had he thought it would feel like this. Jim’s lips were softer than he’d imagined, but they were just as plush, and they felt unbelievably good against his own drier ones. He was surprised by how easy Jim let him take over the kiss; pressing a little firmer when Leonard did, opening his mouth to allow Leonard access, and making such soft noises that Leonard was sure he’d died and gone to heaven.

They were both breathless by the time they broke apart, Jim resting his forehead against Leonard’s. “That...that…”

“Yeah.” Leonard agreed, smiling happily up at Jim. He was so happy he could laugh. In fact he did laugh. Hard and out loud. Leonard wasn’t sure the last time he’d felt so light, like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. Jim smiled with him, but spent most of the time watching Leonard laugh.

“You should laugh more. It suits you.” He murmured when Leonard finally stopped, running his fingers through Leonard’s hair. “Your eyes light up and they crinkle in the corners. It’s amazing.” Leonard felt himself flush a little, which only made Jim grin wider. “Love you, Bones.”

“Love you too, Jim.” Leonard pulled Jim in for another kiss, thoroughly enjoying the way Jim clung to him and moaned into his mouth. He could spend the rest of his life doing just this and not get bored.

“Want you, Bones.” Jim breathed, his blue eyes wide as he rolled his hips, making Leonard groan in response. And fuck did he want Jim too, but not now, not tonight.

“Want you too, but not yet.” Leonard silenced Jim’s protests with another quick kiss. “We will. We’ll do anything and everything you want, but not yet. Let yourself heal a little more first, let’s get to know each other like this a little more first.”

“Bones...I’m not useless, I can manage. We’ve wasted enough time…”

“And we can afford to waste some more. We’re not going anywhere anytime soon, so we can spend all the time we like.” Leonard ran his fingers through Jim’s soft hair reassuringly. “We’ll get around to everything, I promise. I’ll make you feel good.”

Jim relaxed into Leonard’s touch, letting his eyes flutter close. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you wanted to woo me before we go any further.” He murmured, sprawling across Leonard’s chest.

Leonard chuckled. “I’m a southern gentleman, darlin’. I always like to woo my lovers.” He hummed, enjoying how Jim blushed this time, ducking his head again to hide it in Leonard’s shoulder. They stayed like that for some time, with one of Leonard’s hand in Jim’s hair, and the other on the small of his back, with Jim relaxed against him. It was perfect.

Leonard could have stayed like that all night, but the Doctor in him knew that Jim would regret it if he kept his legs curled up like he had them. “C’mon. Let’s go to bed.”

Jim whined into his t-shirt, but reluctantly pulled back when Leonard lightly pushed him. He tried to get straight up, but he ended up falling back down. “Legs are stiff.” He mumbled, and Leonard nodded. He guided Jim so he was sitting on the floor again, and helped him straighten his legs out.

Leonard left him to relax his legs, while he stood himself, putting out what was left of their fire out, and tidying up a little. When he was done, he offered his hands and helped Jim up. “Okay?”

Jim nodded, holding onto Leonard for a moment before leaving go. “I’m good.” They went upstairs together, but Jim hesitated when he got into bed. “Will you stay, still? I don’t want to push it.”

Leonard just smiled, and slid in behind him. “Kid, I’m even less likely to leave you alone now. You’re stuck with me.” He murmured, watching as Jim rolled over so they were face to face.

“Good. Because if you tried, I’d probably end up following you anyway.” Jim laughed.

“Wouldn’t surprise me.” Leonard smiled again. “Let’s get some sleep.” He rolled Jim back over, and pressed against him. He kissed the back of Jim’s neck, smiling at the hum of approval from the other man. “G’night, Jim.”

“Night, Bones.” Jim replied tiredly, already half asleep. Kid could fall to sleep in an instant, though Leonard understood why. He stayed awake for a while longer, content in watching Jim as he thought through everything that had occurred in the last few hours. How he’d gone from terrified of losing his best friend, to almost overwhelmingly joyful that he’d kept his friend but also gained a lover. Leonard never thought he could get so lucky. He tightened his hold on Jim, and allowed himself to nuzzle the back of the others neck as he closed his own eyes and drifted off.

“ _Bones..._ ”

Leonard stirred in his sleep, unconsciously moving away from the wriggling next to him.

“ _Gotta save…_ ”

The wiggling turned to flailing, and a strong kick to his leg jolted Leonard firmly awake. It took a split second, but then another kick brought his attention to Jim, who was obviously in the middle of another nightmare. He was thrashing more violently than Leonard had ever seen him though. “Jim...hey, Jim…” Leonard knew he should back away, get to a safe distance, but his voice alone wasn’t enough to wake Jim, and he was going to hurt himself soon. “C’mon, Jim, wake up.” Leonard placed a hand on Jim’s arm, hoping it would be enough.

Jim’s other arm came up before Leonard could react, and pain blossomed down the side of his face as a fist connected with it. “No! Gonna save him!” Jim cried, the rest of his body following his arm, and Leonard found himself pinned back against the bed, Jim straddling him and looming over him.

“Jim! Jim, it’s me!” Leonard could see that Jim’s eyes were open, but he was yet to snap out of his fog, and Leonard barely had time to raise one of his own arms to block another blow from Jim. “Jim!” The next attack didn’t come, and Leonard risked a peek over his raised arm. Jim was still above him, hand above his head and curled into a fist, but it was stuck in motion as Jim just stared at him.

Leonard slowly lowered his arm, panting heavily as he watched Jim. Jim blinked slowly as he came back to himself, his arm falling limply to his side. “Bones…” Jim’s eyes wandered Leonard’s face, seeing the small trickle of blood from his mouth. Leonard had bitten the inside of his cheek during the first punch. “Shit, Bones...I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Jim jerked away, faster than Leonard thought possible and practically bolted downstairs. Leonard lay still for a few moments longer, pulling himself together again, before pushing himself upright. He grabbed his medkit from his room, and went into the bathroom. He grimaced slightly as he looked himself over in the mirror, but he was already pretty sure it looked worse than it was. A quick scan with his tricorder confirmed it. A nasty bruise, and a sore mouth, but that was it. Leonard cleaned his mouth out, and dug some medication from his kit. He didn’t have anything to fix his mouth, and he couldn’t be bothered to use the dermal regenerator tonight, so just gave himself a hypo of painkiller.

Leonard took a deep breath, and left the bathroom. He went downstairs, searching for Jim. Leonard found him on the floor, in front of the now cold fireplace, with his knees drawn tightly to his chest. “Jim…” He whispered, carefully moving over, and sitting next to him. Jim flinched away. “It’s okay.”

“No! It’s not okay, Bones! How can you even say that? I fucking punched you!” Jim sobbed, still refusing to look at Leonard. “I hurt you!”

“You were having a nightmare. A bad one. And I got too close. I knew the risks before I did it, Jim. It isn’t your fault.” Leonard scooted closer, and wrapped his arms around Jim’s tense shoulders. “I’m not mad, or scared, and it isn’t even that bad, I promise.”

Jim trembled under Leonard’s touch, quietly crying. “I-I didn’t mean to. I thought you were him...thought you were trying to stop me from...from saving you.”

“Saving me?”

Jim nodded with a sniff. “I thought of you...when I was in the warp core chamber. I was holding onto that bar, trying to fix it, but I couldn’t. Then I thought of you. That you’d die if I didn’t, and I kicked it harder and it worked. That’s what I was dreaming about. I felt an arm on me...and I was sure it was Khan...trying to stop me from fixing the warp core...and I reacted…” Jim took a deep, shuddering breath. “Please don’t hate me, Bones.”

“Couldn’t hate you if I tried, kid.” Leonard sighed, kissing the top of Jim’s head. Jim relaxed a fraction, turning so he was curled against Leonard.

“I’m so sorry.”

“Shh, I know, Jim, I know.” Leonard rubbed Jim’s back, the two of them staying like that. When Jim pulled back again, he finally managed to look at Leonard’s face. He could see the blond cringe. “It looks worse than it is. I can fix the bruise in the morning.”

Jim nodded silently, letting his head drop again. “I understand if you don’t want to keep sharing a bed anymore. I wouldn’t want to share a bed with me either.”

“I don’t want to stop. If you want me to give you space, I’ll give it to you, but don’t think I don’t want to.” Leonard murmured, pressing a soft kiss to Jim’s lips. “Let’s go back upstairs. We can just lay like this if you want, but a cold floor will do neither of us any favors.”

Jim nodded again, and let Leonard pull them both up. When they reached the bed, Leonard lay on his back, and pulled Jim close so the others head was on his shoulder, though Jim’s body remained tense. 

Neither of them slept again that night.


End file.
